The Cat's very first preschool experience ended in tears.
Mine.
I cried and cried the morning that the preschool director called to tell us not to come in. I was still crying when she came to pick up the fax machine she had lent me so that I could do the bookings for the preschool. (That's right, I lost my job in addition to losing a place for the Cat to go to school.) The Cat ran away, playing, oblivious at how deeply I was hurting - and completely clueless that the reason for my tears was directly connected to his behavior.
The Cat didn't know how to interact with his peers. He'd go up to a child, grin, and push them over. It wasn't meant to be malicious; it was his way of saying "Hey, let's play!" But he didn't know how to say "hello."
Kibbles Rockin' Clubhouse from Notabilities begins with a lesson and song about greeting words.
I wish I had that DVD when the Cat was going through his first attempts at socialization.
He thought he was being friendly. Instead, he was punished for his actions. His bright grin would turn upside-down as the teacher made him go into the corner. He thought he was playing. He wanted to play with other kids. Why was he being punished while other kids played together happily?
Even mimicking other kids' actions sent him to the penalty box. One younger child stomped around in the teacher's flip-flops and received an "Aw, how cute!" from the teacher, but moments later, the Cat tried it and heard, "Don't do that! Don't touch my shoes!"
Unfortunately, I have many anecdotes about the Cat's efforts at socialization. The two expulsions he's experienced (the aforementioned preschool one, and then the Kindergarten one mentioned in my last post) were a result of improper social skills and an inability to express himself in a productive way.
I received Kibbles Rockin' Clubhouse, Volume One: Expressing Yourself via the Parent Bloggers Network.
From the moment I put the DVD in the van's player, the Cat (age 7) was intrigued. He loves animals, and despite his nickname, I think he prefers dogs to cats. Kibbles was thus a welcome character.
Spliggle (age 3.5) was interested, too, although after the first several rounds decided that he wasn't as excited as the Cat. Spliggle is a Social Master. He knows everyone's name. He says "hello" and "goodbye" completely unprompted. Still, I think he enjoyed the songs in Kibbles Rockin' Clubhouse. When I cued it up on my computer so that I could see it, he came right over to watch with me. The DVD is also packaged with a song-only version, great for reinforcement.
The Cat really enjoyed the songs, too, although thought that some of the things were funny. I liked a song that says, "My mouth can make crazy noises... but I should use my mouth to ask for things" because we had a great deal of trouble with funny noises coming from the Cat when he was younger. Not surprisingly, the Cat thought the silly noises were amusing. Still, I think he understood the message of the song. Each of the lessons on the DVD is reinforced via song.
Choice tidbits worth remembering include "When you see someone for the first time, smile at them and say - Hi!" "Accept 'no' as an answer," and "I'm okay when things don't go my way." Each lesson is sung in an upbeat way using the instructions over and over again. The songs are catchy, memorable, and modern, not annoying.
Each lesson includes tutoring from "Handy Sam," example modeling by the clubhouse kids, the song written and performed by Angela Neve (MT-BC, NMT*,) and then a quiz segment in "Kibbles World," where the dog becomes the talking host. Lessons include greetings, emotions, using your words, and saying goodbye. During the emotions segment, I was interested that two kids expressed "sad" in relationship to bathtime for different reasons: one was sad when the bath was over; the other was sad when he learned he had to have a bath. This difference is subtle, but perhaps some of the older viewers will catch this: that emotions differ based on the individual and that individual's relationship to the situation rather than an objective formula. Tough to understand for some, but I am glad this nuance was made.
Initially, I was a bit worried that the section on greetings made a big deal about how "most" greetings begin with the letter "H." While it is true that "hey," "hello," "hi," "howdy," and "how's it goin'?" all begin with "H," some of the more formal greetings ("Good Morning," "Good Evening," "Good Afternoon,") do not. Fortunately, Kibbles explains that not all H-words are greetings; but, I don't think it is reinforced that not all greetings are H-words. Still, I can see where having an extra "clue" ("How should I greet my friend? Ummm. That's right, it begins with "H!") might help some kids, at least those who are old enough to know the letter "H."
My other minor concern is that during a "Use Your Words" song, the questions posed began with "Can I..." instead of "May I..." Fortunately, during Kibbles quiz-time, he uses the correct "May I..." formation. Although, in neither case did they use the word "please."
Kibbles Rockin' Clubhouse runs 44 minutes. Each section is informative but brief, so kids' attention can last throughout all the segments, although there are enough breaks that pausing for later is certainly an option. Both my kids sat through the whole DVD multiple times.
The Cat says that he enjoys the DVD because he likes "that Kibbles is a talking dog." He told me that the DVD is about feelings. It doesn't surprise me that he remembers the "feelings" segment the best because this is an area he understood. He easily got the "quiz" portion correct. During the part of a later song that instructed "accept 'no' as an answer," I saw him shift in his seat a bit and cast a sideways glance at me. He knows we've been working on this, so I can understand why he wouldn't "remind" me of this when I asked him what Kibbles Rockin' Clubhouse taught him!
The Cat is now old enough that he says "hello" and "goodbye," and he can understand different emotions when quizzed about them (spontaneous real-world application may not be as easy, although he's gotten better,) but this DVD was still a good reminder of "using your words" and how to deal with anger, frustration, and disappointment. It would have been a great DVD to have when the Cat was younger. (I hope Splig picks up on the bits about anger, too. Many little kids need to learn about appropriate responses to disappointment, not just those on the spectrum.)
After the DVD was over, the Cat grinned at me saying, "May I please have some milk?"
Future titles planned for release by Notabilities in the Kibbles Rockin' Clubhouse series are “Volume 2: Self-Care,” “Volume 3: Being a Helper,” “Volume 4: Manners,” “Volume 5: Outings,” “Volume 6: Move Your Body” and “Volume 7: Friends.” I believe these topics are useful for "neurotypical" kids as well.
You can win a free copy! Just leave a comment on the launch post or round-up (4/28) on the Parent Bloggers site to enter.
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* MT-BC: music therapist-board certified; NMT: neurological music therapist
