As I've been going through photos of last year, I've been glad that I've taken the time to snap a few of myself, since typically during important activities, I'm the one out of the picture. The whole "selfie" thing appears pretty egotistical at times, so I feel a bit silly. But then why should I not have a record of myself? I have plenty of pictures of my kids, and especially shots of them with my husband, with my parents, with their friends, and so on. It makes sense then, that sometimes I'll turn the camera on myself with one of the kids. I'm part of their history, too.
My middle-school aged son is at the age where he doesn't really want his image captured. I remember that, and as a result have precious few photos of myself during that time. (But thankfully enough to remember: awkwardness and all!)
2012 was a time of looking behind me, from a high-school reunion with people I technically hadn't seen since middle school, to a recent pizza date with an old friend during that same era. And then there is the whole back surgery thing from this summer that apparently corrected a decades-old issue. 2012 also brought the loss of someone I hadn't seen in a very long time, and the loss of someone I really, truly thought I'd see again.
As I drowned in typical New Year's Nostalgia last night, I was looking much farther back than 2012. I've felt sort of "lost" the last few years --I guess I'm squarely in "midlife crisis" mode-- and hope that Lucky '13 will help me get parts of me back.
I definitely feel pretty invisible at times. But as I thought about the past a bit, I realized that I could picture my friends' mothers very clearly. So maybe I'm in the picture after all.