Not quite like Hamburger Helper.
Three years ago I was the "party planner" for my oldest son's second grade class. That was also the year I took on that class' special recipe book and shadowed the Science Fair. Of course I was pretty burnt out after that, but continued to do the Science Fair and library volunteering for the subsequent two years. (Stints as yard duty and class yearbook person were also smooshed in there.)
This year I may help with Science Fair, but I'm not an official 'Chair' as in the last few years. And I didn't sign up for any in-classroom work, other than doing library for both my sons' classes. (I'm on the gym board for my youngest son's team, so even though that isn't a visible volunteer position at school, it is at gymnastics.)
Oh yeah, and I also work. You know, for money.
At Back to School Night, my youngest son's new teacher, who was my oldest son's 2nd grade teacher, greeted me with a smile, but also a rather telling series of comments, "Oh, I didn't see you on the first day of school. I was really worried! Does this mean you are spending more time doing work? I really hoped to see you around. Are you around? I didn't see you on the first day of school. Were you there?!"
Ugh. I told her I was around the first day of school, but chose not to address the "work" query that precise moment. If she asks later, I'm too busy to take on any more commitments. I just can't have a presence like I did when my oldest was in her class.
(As an aside, I know that teachers absolutely need the parental assistance in class. Thankfully there are enough stay-at-home parents so that typically the volunteer positions are snapped up quickly. If there was ever a real shortage, of course I'd step up.)
When my youngest son's homework bag came to the house, I remembered what the workload was like in second grade: at least something every night, unlike the "two or three days to complete" type of homework in other grades. (In 5th grade my oldest son has a mix of both, but he does his work independently for the most part.)
In particular, I noticed a "Homework Helper Contract" for the math program. I rolled my eyes. It talked about how the parent must do the homework with the child, blah, blah. Now, I'm no horrible person who doesn't want to help my child, but the idea of a contract rubbed me the wrong way. I flashed to those talks of school districts who grade the parents. (And I hate those missives about how moms should do a, b, and c, as though moms have nothing better to do while dads aren't part of the picture because they are doing "real work.") Sure, I'm involved in my kids' activities, but I'm no helicopter parent.
But then it dawned on me: I don't have to be the one to sign the contract.
I struck a deal with my oldest son, who adores math. He will be the official math "homework helper." After my youngest does the work, my oldest will check it over for accuracy and help where needed. Each assignment is worth a quarter. This doesn't sound like much, but he'll get a buck a week that he wouldn't have otherwise.
The agreement has been in place two weeks now, and so far, so good. My oldest gets a kick out of helping his younger brother (and is thrilled to be the "expert" at math) while my youngest thinks it is more fun to have his brother help him than his mom. (I'm not a complete dolt, so I do check over the work later just to make sure it has been done well.)
As a bonus, my oldest has been more diligent in doing his homework (completing assignments in advance of their due date, even) because his brother is at the table working.
Granted, it is still very early in the school year, but for now it is a win-win situation.
Comments (3)
Boy, that really invests the whole family in encouraging each other to get the work done! Brilliant!
Posted by Susan @Whymommy | September 6, 2011 12:10 PM
Posted on September 6, 2011 12:10
You, my friend, are a GENIUS.
Posted by mayberry | September 6, 2011 7:50 PM
Posted on September 6, 2011 19:50
That is awesome. I, too have been feeling bad that I can't do everything for all the kids and have had to cut back in where I spend my free time. It is a tough choice but I am happier and the kids are happy too.
Posted by Melissa | September 7, 2011 2:57 PM
Posted on September 7, 2011 14:57