When my alarm went off, I went to the front of the house, unfortunately forgetting my second alarm, which awakened my poor husband. I ate breakfast and dressed slowly, wondering how I could possibly run with a back that hurt when I walked. I did a few test running steps, and sometimes the pain wouldn't increase, but other times the pain would increase. But there was always pain.

It was an effort to put on my running tights. My mind kept debating with my back. Was I just looking for an excuse to quit because it was so cold outside? Would I just keep making excuses until I wasn't exercising at all? Was I being completely stupid for even having the conversation with myself when it was clear I am injured?

Finally completely dressed, I took a few more test running steps. Pure agony.

There was no way I could complete a 10k, even if I walked the whole thing. I am more than disappointed, not only because I haven't really exercised in a couple weeks - so feel heavy and sluggish - but also that I've failed to meet my Project 2010k goal. But, to have forced myself to run today possibly could have landed me in the hospital this afternoon rather than with family eating a delicious meal. (As it stands now, I think I might still have to go to the doctor, but it isn't urgent enough to ruin Thanksgiving.)

If I ran today, I'd likely not be able to run in December, anyway, so would have been unable to complete the final month of 2010, either.

And so, I'm calling a halt to Project 2010k. If miraculously my back improves in the next couple weeks, perhaps I can do a race in December, but it is unlikely since both I was intending to race involve hills, mud, and situations that can be back-breaking even with a healthy back. My plan had been to sign up for two races on one weekend - one Saturday, one Sunday - because I already know that Splig has a gymnastics meet. I would race on whichever day he didn't compete.

It is going to be tough to sit in the stands watching Splig be active when I haven't been active. I want to set an example to my children that adults can be active, too. But I certainly don't want to send the message that it is okay to ignore injury. It is a fine line between pushing past discomfort versus creating further injury.

I am disappointed.

But I'm thankful for the 21 races that I DID complete in 2010. I'm thankful that I have done 4 5ks, 9 10ks, 1 12k, 5 half-marathons, plus 18.6 miles in two days for "The Relay" and 13.6 miles during an endurance run. I accomplished a lot this year, even if I won't round out the last two months of 2010 with races.

Starting in September 2009 and ending in October 2010, I've run at least one race per month. 14 consecutive months of races isn't too bad. But forcing myself to run this morning probably would have been bad.

I'll be eager to get back in the groove of things, hopefully soon. But for now, my couch might have to be my best friend.