Thank goodness I got up!

I promised myself I'd do a "real" ongoing class at some point. But, 2006 turned out to be my world turning upside down, when we scrambled to find an appropriate environment for the Cat to attend Kindergarten, a journey that ended in the summer of 2007 when we moved into our current school district.

There was definitely no time for myself in 2006 - or 2007 for that matter.

In 2008, BlogHer again had a yoga class. This one actually provided yoga mats that we could take home with us, and since I was early I ended up experiencing the whole class. It was quite challenging, but again I left refreshed and happy. I must do this on a regular basis.

But the 2008-2009 school year was Splig's last one in preschool, plus I ended up picking up a few new freelance clients. During September of 2008 I went through a horrid month of work and gained about 20 pounds. It was definitely a period when I should have had some "me" time, and yet I literally had no time. It took me months to "catch up."

In early 2009, so began the whole Shredheads deal, and as part of that, I tried a couple yoga DVDs. (Oh! and I've done Wii Fit yoga ever since it came out, too!) But - every time that "parks and recreation" guide came out, there was always a reason as to why I didn't plunk down the $100 to go to a real class.

Well, this autumn was finally The Time. I registered for a class, paid my money, and was eager to begin. Sure, I knew beginning two days after running a half-marathon might hurt a little, but I also knew it would help a great deal. My first class was last week.

So.

My second class is tomorrow. And I am scared. I'm not really looking forward to it like I was before.

You see, my other experiences with yoga were anonymous. The instructors at the BlogHer demonstrations were teaching an entire ballroom filled with people. (Or, in the case of 2006, I was at the waaaaaay back of a group of folks.) I could be invisible.The people on the DVDs are just pretending to watch us, but I can be confident there will be no criticism - or if there is, I learn the script quickly and don't really mind. But with 8-10 people in a real class, the instructor sees your every move. And comments on it.

Yup, I know this is supposed to be a good thing. Individualized instruction is to be lauded. It is the ultimate - because we get what we need.

But I am a coward. I hated one-on-one chemistry tutoring, even when done by a sweet peer, and couldn't spew out my neuroanatomy when quizzed by a post-doc, even though I could easily do it to an empty chair.

I am the "brand new kid" in yoga class. On the way over, I prayed that it would be a bunch of middle-aged women just trying to get in shape. I got my wish - because I am definitely the youngest - but the women and men in there definitely know what they are doing. Nope, they aren't skinny and super-athletic, but they know the instructor already, can understand his directions, and are definitely more flexible than I am.

This speaks volumes of the class, of course, because these people have practiced yoga and are able to do things I cannot yet do. But on the flip side, I hate being the confused one!

The instructor is very calm (as one would suppose) and helped me through the first class with great patience. Likewise, a woman sitting next to me gave me instruction as well.

I don't accept help very well. I know that. I'm too proud. I'm thin-skinned.

And so - instead of looking forward to yoga tomorrow, I'm dreading it.

Yet, I know that tomorrow will probably be much better than last week if only that I'm not as tired (because I ran 3 miles today, not 13) and that I'll have a better idea of how the class is run. Some of the poses will now be familiar to me.

I know that there is really no way to go but up. And I know that even if I "fail," the instructor will try to help me succeed.

I think this experience is going to change me more mentally than it will physically. Which is exactly what I need.

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UPDATE: As I had hoped, the second class was infinitely more comfortable than the first. There was a new person, so I was no longer the only inexperienced one, plus we did some balance poses that I did well, so it was fun to have success there. I'm definitely more relaxed now, and am looking forward to my third class.