Kari, I can understand your concerns - both for the Cat's welfare and for your own comfort among the other parents. I think any reasonable parent would be willing to acquiesce to your preferences (e.g., bringing your own homemade treats for the Cat), without thinking that you are being difficult or holding yourself or the Cat above the others. After all, if they were in your position, I would expect that they would share the same concerns.

One of the boys at Tacy's school was recently diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. Another child shared some M-n-Ms with him one afternoon, and the teachers were extremely concerned. Of course they took all the appropriate measures, but they also questioned how they could have prevented it. Should they take away all the M-n-Ms, since this boy might inadvertently eat some and become ill? And what about kids who have peanut allergies - apparently the coating of M-n-Ms contain peanut oil, enough to trigger a reaction in kids who are extremely allergic. It's a tough situation, and frankly I think it's one that the teachers and the other parents should be willing to incorporate into their plans.

And I do agree with you re the pre-packaged foods. At Tacy's school, they cook and serve all foods on the premises, so I don't bring anything in. But at her old school, I brought her lunch every day. Year round, I took the time to prepare fresh fruits and veggies, as well as healthy entrees, and I have to admit that I was dismayed to see what other parents brought. Nothing but pre-packaged junk. And when I say junk, I mean brownies, jello, pudding, cheetos - not even cheese and crackers.

The peanut allergy thing has had its own set of controversies. Our school district doesn't have a policy, but a neighboring one made the entire Kindergarten and accompanying playground peanut-free. Many parents were outraged, but the boy whose parents had forced the peanut ban was extraordinarily allergic. I don't know what they did once he went to the 1-3 grade lot (whether it then became peanut-free).

When I worked at a cooperative daycare when the Cat was two, they also had a peanut ban. Whenever a lunch had peanuts in it, I had to seal it up along with a note stating the ban. One parent started screaming at me because she said, "I thought none of the kids scheduled today were allergic!" She was worried that her son was "starving" because he couldn't eat his PB & J sandwich. I had to explain that the ban was in effect at all times because one day a kid with PB on his hands could touch a toy that the next day a peanut-allergic kid might pick up. She was not understanding, and called my supervisor to complain about me.

I understand both sides. Lots of parents say their kids will ONLY eat PB&J and feel it is unfair for a school to dictate what their child can eat. (The Cat has never eaten a sandwich other than PB!) But then if it were my son with a fatal allergy, I'd be terrified that some peanut oil might make its way onto his hands.

I think the ban type solution lets up in higher grades, both because the allergic child knows to be careful and because the allergies frequently lessen with age.

Great post. I could go on and on, but i won't. I'm amazed about the packaged foods policy.

My daughter is anaphylactic to peanuts and tree nuts. All social situations are very difficult for us. I tried preschool and found the level of cooperation was not enough to make me feel safe. A large part of our decision to do private school was because of her allergies. I get so frustrated when people don't take life-threatening allergies as such or feel put out by them. A kindergarten class with kids eating peanut butter sandwiches is like a class full of kids with guns. An allergy that is anaphylactic is by definition life-threatening - there really is no degree of seriousness.

Anyway, i'm sorry to rant in your space. I feel for your situation. I used to leave a bag of cupcakes in the freezer at the preschool for unexpected birthday days.

my big question with all this snack talk, is what is with all the snacks? i remember eating breakfast going to school, then either eating my lunch at school (from home) or going home for lunch when i could. was there a big study between the 70s and now that said kids must eat every hour? i mean, i am diabetic and i have to eat every few hours, but this seems excessive. the ban on home made snacks is stupid too.

i work at my gym's daycare 6 hours a week and we are not peanut free, but we do have kids that come with epipens (2 of them, both allergic to peanuts). it is really only our kids who eat, so i generally don't bring anything peanutty. i understand the danger, but i also understand finicky kids who will eat nothing one week but PB&J and trying to "persuade" a toddler to eat a certain food is difficult.

food has become so incredibly complicated for so many of us. i feel like an amateur dietitian since becoming diabetic. i can give you the grams of carbs in something from 20 paces.

didn't the Jetsons eat food in pill form? that seems so easy......

my big question with all this snack talk, is what is with all the snacks? i remember eating breakfast going to school, then either eating my lunch at school (from home) or going home for lunch when i could. was there a big study between the 70s and now that said kids must eat every hour? i mean, i am diabetic and i have to eat every few hours, but this seems excessive. the ban on home made snacks is stupid too.

i work at my gym's daycare 6 hours a week and we are not peanut free, but we do have kids that come with epipens (2 of them, both allergic to peanuts). it is really only our kids who eat, so i generally don't bring anything peanutty. i understand the danger, but i also understand finicky kids who will eat nothing one week but PB&J and trying to "persuade" a toddler to eat a certain food is difficult.

food has become so incredibly complicated for so many of us. i feel like an amateur dietitian since becoming diabetic. i can give you the grams of carbs in something from 20 paces.

didn't the Jetsons eat food in pill form? that seems so easy......

my big question with all this snack talk, is what is with all the snacks? i remember eating breakfast going to school, then either eating my lunch at school (from home) or going home for lunch when i could. was there a big study between the 70s and now that said kids must eat every hour? i mean, i am diabetic and i have to eat every few hours, but this seems excessive. the ban on home made snacks is stupid too.

i work at my gym's daycare 6 hours a week and we are not peanut free, but we do have kids that come with epipens (2 of them, both allergic to peanuts). it is really only our kids who eat, so i generally don't bring anything peanutty. i understand the danger, but i also understand finicky kids who will eat nothing one week but PB&J and trying to "persuade" a toddler to eat a certain food is difficult.

food has become so incredibly complicated for so many of us. i feel like an amateur dietitian since becoming diabetic. i can give you the grams of carbs in something from 20 paces.

didn't the Jetsons eat food in pill form? that seems so easy......

Jess, thank you for your perspective. I am thankful that the Cat's allergies are not anaphylactic, and are actually "food sensitivities" not technically "food allergies."

I would definitely be frightened if he had a fatal allergy because I know the teachers at the Cat's school are NOT super vigilant about keeping him away from the trouble foods. (The playground teacher has essentially told me she doesn't believe in food sensitivities.) Of course, if it were a fatal allergy, perhaps they would be, but I wouldn't want to take that chance!

JenB: I agree that food has become so complex that it would be easier to eat in pill form. But oh, do I love the taste of food! :)

From preferences to life-threatening choices, the food we select and consume is so complex for hosts of events, guests of events, parents, teachers, and the kids themselves.

At our office party last night, we had three different people request special meals for various reasons (vegetarian, vegan, "piscatarian")!

ack, sorry for the LONG and then double post. i should have been in bed. :-)