There was a clear scapegoat for 9/11 and the victims, fire-fighters, and other rescuers were heroes. The fear was for a human enemy. Although there were deaths related to 9/11 after the date, the majority of the fatalities were quick. Nerves remained frayed for awhile, and we felt vulnerable, but in a different way than Katrina. The victims of 9/11 were in many cases high-powered business folk.

For Katrina, the victims are “refugees,” many of them poor, and the behavior being reported in the media involves rapes, murders, police walking off the job, police refusing to let people evacuate, and pointing fingers at various policy makers and emergency assistance organizations. There is no mention of “heroes.” The deaths are slow, and continue as the contaminated water sickens people, supplies run low, and various animals cause injury or infection. There is little “hope” for many people. There is not a united show of support.

The rebuilding from this disaster is far different from that of 9/11. There are many similarities in the scope of cleaning up and identifying the dead, but the pride is different. The “let’s show the world how great we are” from 9/11 is replaced by meek shuffling.

I am fortunate in that I did not know any victims from either 9/11 or Katrina.

However, 9/11 had a more personal connection to me. Since I had moved from the area just 7 months prior, I knew people who were affected in New York. People in the San Francisco Bay area were involved because one of the planes was headed that direction, so there were people in my new home who were affected. My husband was about to leave for the airport to fly to Washington, D.C. He had been back East just a few days prior, but decided to come home before heading out again. My husband’s boss from his job in NYC had a meeting in the World Trade Center that morning scheduled for a bit later in the morning. My husband’s former office was in the Empire State Building.

Although it is not productive to play the “what if” game, with so many factors that could have played a role, I was struck by how lucky we were. If my husband had stayed back East, he would have been stuck there for awhile. I would have been frightened for his safety. If he had already been on a plane that morning, I would have been scared, especially because he was heading to D.C. If we still lived in NY, maybe he and his boss would have gotten a cup of coffee at the WTC before their meeting. (His boss was fine and hadn’t left for the meeting yet.) If he was in the Empire State Building, I would have been frightened that could be the next target. With the anthrax stuff afterwards, I would have been anxious as well. Also eerily suspicious was how a former boyfriend of mine who had worked at the Department of Justice had told me in 1998 how he was worried about me moving to New York City because we was certain a terrorist attack would occur there.

Our old church gave out water to people walking on foot out of the city. I saw them mentioned in the news. A former graduate school classmate of mine was looking for his fiancé who ended up being burnt and was yet unidentified in a hospital; I was shocked to see his face on the news pleading for information. A former elementary school classmate exited the subway right by the Twin Towers and saw the smoke rise. Some other classmates of mine had friends who perished. My maid-of-honor from my wedding had a sister who had to evacuate her class from a nearby school. The ice rink where I had played hockey became a makeshift morgue.

I was relieved to not be there, but I also had a longing to be back there to share in the clean-up or perhaps it was just morbid curiosity to see the damage to the place that I had loved so much. I felt so connected to New York, and yet so disconnected to what was actually occurring.

Conversely, I had never been to New Orleans, nor other Southern parts affected by Katrina. I don’t know anyone yet who has been affected. One friend mentioned that her friend had gotten out, but I haven’t heard any other stories from people I know. I don’t recognize the places shown on the television, so cannot grasp the “before” and “after.” The footage is faceless to me, much like the tsunami. However, with the tsunami, I did receive some personal tales in my college alumni magazine, and I expect the same will occur with Katrina. Occasionally, I will hear a pleading voice on the news that drives me to tears for what is going on down South. But the truth is that it is more abstract to me than 9/11 was.

I was glued to the television for 9/11. I left only to go to a doctor’s appointment (which I considered missing) and, believe it or not, hockey practice. After a day of watching the same coverage over and over again, I needed the hockey practice to get out stress. However, it was eerie to drive over the empty Bay Bridge, and past the abandoned San Francisco Airport. I prayed the whole way that the terrorists weren’t going to take out the bridge or blow up the airport while I was there.

For Katrina, I haven’t been watching TV. It is odd, because for the hurricane, the footage is new so I should have reason to watch. There is something novel to be seen each time, whereas for 9/11 the images were the static.

I watched the same video over and over again for 9/11, and yet I am not tracking all the new footage of Katrina. I am not sure what to make of it.

I hope that some heroic stories will come out of Katrina (like that of the 6 year old boy leading other children to safety, which unfortunately highlights the failure of adults.) I hope that there will be some “success” stories of people who have survived and gotten what they need (but not in the smug way that Barbara Bush claims will happen.) As much as I disliked the shiny-happy “U.S.A. is such a Super Place” that came after 9/11, I am hoping for something about the response to this tragedy for which to be proud. I am hoping for people’s needs to be met and for their lives to be considered valuable. I don’t want a holiday or a parade, but some dignity would be swell.

Special thoughts and prayers for those affected by 9/11, Katrina, the tsunami, the earthquakes in Turkey, and the individual tragedies that aren’t publicly visible. May strength and grace prevail. May human kindness trump selfishness. May we be better people than the media is showing us to be.